A hunting we will go….

Christmas and Easter – two of the seasons where you are in intimate contact with the oddities of the clan that raised you.

Just as the child raised by wolves thinks that walking on all fours is the speediest way to move, many of us learned awkward ways to move in our families of origin!

Family creates perception.

A happy family, characterized by calm, kind, fair even handed interactions, gives children the expectancy of possibility as well as the skills to handle other people well.

A miserable family…. and oh! there are SO MANY varieties of miserable!, creates the illusion in the child, that their family’s variety of misery is an integral part of life.

The illusion, instilled early and strongly enough, in turn creates the DE-LUSION.

This includes a stronger belief that the specific misery in the family, and the family’s beliefs are experienced by people EVERYWHERE.

When you hear people vehemently state ALL or EVERYONE, ALWAYS…. prick up your ears!

You are probably on track to hear a delusion!

“ALL men are like that! You can’t trust them!”

For “men” you could substitute “women, children, Greeks, Indians, lawyers etc.” Any group will do!

For “like that” you can substitute angry, mean, stupid, selfish, spiteful, vicious, naive…etc, etc.

It is the strength of the statement that tells you that you may be hearing a perceptual illusion.

Vehement statements are often developed early in life and nourished into strong beliefs by family delusion.

You will seldom hear people make measured statements like,

“In MY family, my father was mean. I picked a partner who was mean as well because I didn’t know any better. This is difficult for me. I have to work with my perceptions so that I can choose better because I know there are many kind men in the world.”

Instead, in miserable families, you are more likely to hear,
“All men are Bas****s!” or “All women are B*****s!”  (add whatever category you wish!)

General Family Gathering Safety Warning: Don’t try to argue sense with someone who is making this kind of statement. You will get your head bitten off.

NOT because you are wrong but because people often think their perceptive filters are protecting them from the “bad world out there.”

(Watch the movie Chappie to see a great example of how this happens).

If you tip someone’s world upside down with rationality and they don’t have gravity boots they will see YOU as the invading alien!  An opposing argument is seen, not as interesting, but as dangerous.

People then react to exterminate the threat (which unfortunately, in this case, is YOU and your rational idea).

You may find yourself on the end of a very sharp tongue sword!

So…Easter and Christmas are great times for observing the delusions and distortions with which you were raised (AND those of your partner….don’t miss these! They provide very important information!)

Family gatherings are unique opportunities for us to hear and observe the statements and beliefs which shaped our minds when we were young.

These delusions may still have lingering effects in our perceptual capacity.

Listen for statements like, “All X are…” or, “Thats just the way the world is…”   THEN ask yourself if YOU believe this too.

Chances are you are under a strong delusion spell put on you as a child before you could argue rationality.

Once you can see it a bit of faerie dust can set you free but we’ll talk about that next time.

In the meantime….Happy delusion hunting!

With care,Dr. T.

Photocredits (In order): c. Depositphotos/ Tepic; Dangubic; Kuban_girl; Cookelma; atholpady; Staroshchuk; Krivenko; memoangeles.