Two Secrets Every Powerful Mother Should Know

Why does how we were treated as children affect our sense of self even when we are no longer small?

Why do parents have such an impact?

It is because children’s brains run primarily in Theta Rhythm, which is the brain pattern which enables hypnosis.

Adult brains are rarely in Theta rhythm unless they are hypnotized, dropping off to sleep, or in very deep meditative trance.

Children’s brains are in Theta rhythm much of the time until they turn about 13.

When the brain is in Theta rhythm the doorway to the sub-conscious is opened as well as a lot of the gates to the unconscious, where our sense of self and safety are stored.

Thus, what you say and do can go straight to the subconscious or unconscious of the child and lodge there deeply.

Children are affected strongly because the hypnagogic state opens the self up to influence.

Learning about hypnagogic states can help us interact with our children in ways that influence them well.
Here are 2 secrets about Theta Rhythm that all Powerful Mothers should know:

 

Secret Number One: Your Daydreaming Child’s Brain is Getting Smarter

Theta rhythm is VERY important for children because it is the rhythm that activates the best conditions for growth and development.

Theta is the rhythm where the brain and the body create the most nerve fibre connections in the fastest time.

In other words, when your child sits aimlessly daydreaming, doodling or playing in what seems to be an aimless putter, they are actually growing the most fibres and connections for their brain!

A child kept from play is a damaged child, not just because they become miserable, but because their capacity to learn is being damaged.

A healthy child will often be daydreaming, playing imaginatively and muddling slowly, which can be frustrating for busy parents.

It is important to remember when a child is daydreaming they may not be putting on their shoes and socks for school but they’re growing the brain super highways that help them learn once they GET to school.

A child with enough Theta daydreaming time ends up with a brain with lots of neural highways open and ready for traffic! This child engages with learning with curiosity and enthusiasm, almost as though it were a treat!

“What does that mean? How does that work?”

The relaxed child has a brain that is hungry for the food of new ideas and concepts.

 

Secret Number Two: To be Effective Speak Softly to the Daydreaming Child

We have all had the experience of dropping off to sleep and being startled by a loud noise or somehow jerked back awake. It feels like being in a lovely free fall and then being jerked back by a nasty cord, right? We feel startled, annoyed or even upset.

Often we will get hit by whatever emotions were just beneath the surface in our minds. This is because the Theta rhythm has already opened the gate to the subconscious in preparation for the unconsciousness of sleep.

When we shock our children out of a daydreaming state loudly,

“What are you DOING! Hurry up!”

…they get the same feeling that we get when we are awoken as we are dropping off the sleep.

 

Two Rules for Communicating to Someone in Theta Rhythm:

1. Speaking a little slower than normal is best. Suggestions made at a gentle, rhythmic pace are absorbed quickest. Words spoken quickly, abruptly and sharply will be lost as the brain focuses on the shock of disruption rather than the message.

2. Keeping your emotions in calm and gentle ranges is most effective. Emotions are experienced more strongly in Theta Rhythm than other brain states. This means Less is more! You don’t have to use a bulldozer to get your message across.

Using a slow soothing rhythm as you speak (not fast, staccato, “hurry, hurry”), keeping your tone low (not high pitched or loud), and using firm, kind touch, are some ways to communicate without causing shock and tension.

 

 

STEPS FOR WORKING EFFECTIVELY WITH A DAYDREAMING CHILD

Let’s take the example of your child looking idly at the tree outside their window instead of putting on their shoes and socks. Here are some steps that can help the child experience the shift in brain pattern as pleasant:

1. Interrupt the hypnagogic state with gentle touch before you speak.A soothing stroke to the shoulder or arm is good. Use the kind of touch you would use to gently wake someone.
2. Speak in a clear and soothing voice and affirm what they are doing,

“Aren’t those leaves pretty? I am glad you notice beautiful things.”

IF you have time you could ask what they are watching but don’t do this unless you have time to listen.
3. Gain eye contact and smile.
4. In a clear and calm voice re-direct the child to the next activity while providing affirming messages about the Theta day-dreaming they have been doing. Eg:

“I need you to put on your shoes and socks so we can move like the leaves of that lovely tree and go out our door now. Can you show me what needs to come first? That’s right! Please come and show me when you are done. Thank you.”

5. Affirm this with another gentle touch or stroke.

Because your child is in a hypnotic state your voice tone, pace of words and touch go RIGHT to the subconscious – lowering the level of tension they feel about a change.

Communicating this way helps your child learn to regulate their own emotions and to be able to shift from one brain wave pattern to another without feeling anxious.

Over time this means the child becomes able to shift from play to work without tension and stress.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all do this? Gentle regulated communication to a child in Theta helps the child to learn to pace themselves by strengthening their capacity to shift brain gears easily.

This is a core skill for learning, engaging with life and doing well.

Understanding that your child is impacted by the tone, pace and style of your communication is critically important for being a powerful mother.

You are your child’s hypnotist – use this power well!

 

Photocredits (in order): K.Thomas.

c. Depositphotos: Sam741002; Freeimages; yuliang11; bst2012.